


1929: Ka Pono Ku’oko’a

by ThatClumsyGirl



Series: Home of the Free [7]
Category: Downton Abbey
Genre: Fluff, Hawaii, M/M, Period-Typical Homophobia, alibi girlfriend, characters consider themselves married, implied racism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-11
Updated: 2019-10-11
Packaged: 2020-12-09 06:04:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,594
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20990063
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThatClumsyGirl/pseuds/ThatClumsyGirl
Summary: Thank you for every comment and kudos from everyone who is still reading these.I'm still not sure what this one is. It started with the first scene playing in my head and then it ran away with me. The title is Hawaiian for “the cost of freedom” and I stole it from a H5-O episode.





	1929: Ka Pono Ku’oko’a

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for every comment and kudos from everyone who is still reading these.  
I'm still not sure what this one is. It started with the first scene playing in my head and then it ran away with me. The title is Hawaiian for “the cost of freedom” and I stole it from a H5-O episode.

Thomas hurries along the street. It had been a stressful day and it's not over yet. He needs a few minutes alone with his boyfriend if he wants to get through the rest of it, so he has decided to go pick him up from work. Edward is now a proper auxiliary teacher, giving regular lessons in music and literature at a small school not far from their house. Attendance is always high, although the lessons are extra-curricular, and the children treat him with respect.

The school is a low one-storey building with a rusty tin roof, weathered wood-panelling and electric that looks like someone put it in as a random afterthought. Even after three years of getting used to tropical architecture, Thomas still sees it with the eyes of an Englishman and to him it looks like nothing more than a shed among a grove of palm-trees.

Finding Edward is not a hard task, he just has to follow the piano music. The students have gone by this time and he often stays behind to play for a while by himself. He is sitting with his back to the door, absorbed in his world of sound, unaware of the flickering shadows of the trees in the dusty afternoon light and the birds that fly in and out through the gaps where windows would be.

Edward started playing the piano when he was five years old; he'd inherited his mother's talent and it was the only thing that connected him and her. He has apparently always had an ear for those distinct little variations of tone, be it in music or in someone's voice. That's why he can look through people's masks even without seeing them, almost like he can read minds. All of that is obscure to Thomas. He likes music and has learned a great deal about it in the past three years but he'll never hear it like Edward does, who describes it as 'hearing in colour'. The only thing Thomas can really distinguish is if the music is pleasant to him or not. Right now, it is. The tune ends in slow, melancholy notes.

“Are you going to stand there all afternoon?“, Edward asks while he lets his fingers aimlessly stroke a few keys.

It doesn't startle Thomas anymore, in fact, he's become rather fond of testing how long it takes him to notice. “If you'll have me”

Edward laughs and turns around. “What are you doing here? It's not Thursday, is it?”

Thursday is the day Thomas and some friends usually play cricket on the roughly-prepared field behind the school, if he has time. “It's not. I'll have to head back to the hotel in an hour and I wanted to see you”

“Come here, then” He makes room on the bench and Thomas sits next to him. “Hello, my dear”, Edward whispers as he softly kisses his cheek.

“Edward, public place”, Thomas warns him quietly.

“Creaky floors” They allow themselves a quick kiss before Edward pulls back and rests his head on Thomas' shoulder. “I thought you had the evening off. Wasn't someone else supposed to oversee the grand dinner-party?”

“Yes, Ira Milton should've done that. But both his wife and his son are sick”

“Oh no, I hope they'll be alright” The lively young family has often visited them and Edward is especially fond of the little boy and his mother.

“They will, but he'll have to nurse them for a day or two, so I need to step in for him tonight. I won't be home before midnight, don't wait up for me”

Edward sighs. “You work too much, you'll wear yourself out. I wish you'd take better care of yourself”

“I have you to do that, don't I. And I'll take Saturday off, so we'll have the whole day to ourselves”

“Good. Let's do something, borrow a car and drive somewhere, then have a nice dinner later”

“Yes, let's do that, it sounds lovely” Without really knowing what he's doing, Thomas puts a hand on the piano and starts playing one of the few tunes he's memorized. He wishes he had more patience to learn how to play properly. Edward automatically plays along on the other half of the keyboard, going slowly, so Thomas can look at what his fingers are doing and copy it. He could just sit here and watch that all the time. Thomas has always had a weakness for a beautiful pair of hands, especially a musician's. And especially Edward's that distract him so much he loses track of his own fingers after a couple of bars. Without a word, they start over, until the same thing happens again and they dissolve into giggles.

The floor creaks somewhere and they break apart like lightning struck between them. “Hello, Mr. Courtenay? I didn't know you were still here”, a female voice says and a second later a coloured woman in an apron and worn clothes steps through the doorway.

“Good afternoon, Mrs. Lewis”, Edward says, “May I present my cousin, Mr. Thomas Barrow. Thomas, I don't believe you've met Mrs. Eula Lewis. We'd all be lost without her around here”

“You exaggerate, sir. I tidy up and I clean, that's all”, Mrs. Lewis says with a wide smile.

“How charming to meet you”, Thomas answers and finds that it is the truth. He likes her although he's only known her for half a minute. “And you're right, we should be going. It can be a hard task to drag Mr. Courtenay away from the piano”

“I can imagine. But it is so nice to hear him play, it always cheers me up” Mrs. Lewis pushes her trolley of cleaning-supplies into the room. “I don't mean to chase you away”

“No, really, we should leave”, Edward says and gets up. They say their goodbyes and walk out of the building. “Poor woman. Her husband has cancer, so she must earn as much as she can. I'm afraid he won't recover. She trained in a hotel in California once, but they won't have her now, not anywhere”

“I'm sorry to say it – it's probably her colour” Thomas absolutely doesn't agree with that, but what can he do?

“She's coloured? I didn't know that and she never said. It doesn't matter, either way”

“Not to you, but I'm afraid it matters a great deal to the rest of the world … That was a close call, wasn't it? She almost saw us”

“Quite. But she wouldn't give us away. Why should she?” Edward takes his hand for a moment but Thomas pulls away. It's just too dangerous.

“You never know why people do what they do. I don't know if she's as liberal as you think but you should never rely on it” Thomas still wonders how Edward made it through life taking risks like this.

“You're right, I've been too careless. I'm sorry”

“Let's not waste our time with that. Let's hurry home, I've still got half an hour”

Edward's smile is enough to make him shiver. “That should leave enough time for some of the things I'd planned to do to you tonight”

~#~

Thomas has arranged to borrow a car from a neighbour and made dinner reservations and it's only Wednesday. He can hardly wait until it's finally the weekend and he can spend some real time with Edward.

“What is it with you? Are you going on a hot date tonight?”, Theo Morris suddenly asks when they are taking a break in the staff-room.

“Why do you say that?” Thomas can't imagine what has given him away.

“Oh, what an idea”, Clyde Roscoe throws in from the other side, “Like he'd ever do that”

“It must be the prospect of going home to your young man, then”

“What are you two on about? Are you bored, or something?” Thomas tries to sound indifferent but his voice comes out a little too breathy. One wrong word and everything will be lost. Those two _would_ give him away; they may make jokes about it, but they're not as tolerant as they seem at first.

“No, seriously. You've never had a girlfriend in the three years we've known you and when you talk about spending time with someone, it's always Edward”, Theo says.

“Yes, that's right. You do look so much like a couple, too”, Clyde adds with a malicious spark in his eyes.

Thomas can't breathe for a moment and is afraid he might black out. It's no wonder this has happened. They haven't been exactly careful about revealing the nature of their relationship, not lately. After a while, they had felt too safe in these beautiful surroundings and given into the temptation of touching or of sitting and walking cosily together in plain sight. He has to come up with something, and quick.

“Actually, I do … have a girlfriend” He doesn't know why he says it or how he is going to continue this conversation. He is just panicking and relying on his luck, not that that ever did him any good.

“Really? Why have we never seen her or heard a single word about her?”

“Because -” Think, Thomas, come on … “Because she's Japanese”

“What, d'you think we're racists now?” Theo sounds genuinely put out. This is something he really _is _modern about.

“Well, no. But I couldn't take the risk. You never know, someone might take exception to it” The Fukunaga case still hangs in the air in the city. It's never been easy to be Japanese in this white-dominated society but ever since this horrible incident it has become downright impossible.

“You're so English … And what about your friend Edward? I should think he's a great favourite with the ladies. Well, the ones that can look past the … you know” Clyde vaguely points to his eyes.

“We call him your husband”, Theo laughs, “You two are so close it's almost unnatural”

“Well, apart from being cousins, we're good friends. But everything concerning his heart is Edward's own business and if you really have to know, you should ask him” Thomas' confidence in his own skill as a liar slowly comes back.

“Perhaps we will, see if he backs up your story” Theo says it in a mocking tone but it sounds like a threat nonetheless.

“Now, we should get back to work, before you two come up with any more crazy thoughts” However well they get along, Thomas is their supervisor and has the authority to keep them in check. He sometimes wishes he had taken a stricter approach from the beginning, so conversations like this one would never happen. Then again, they would happen behind his back and he'd never get the opportunity to save the situation. But has he saved it? Hasn't he made it much worse and put himself and his love-life under a spotlight of scrutiny?

All his life he's lived under the shadow of the fear that something like this might happen. It caused many a sleepless night in the first year or so in Hawai'i, because now he had Edward by his side and with him a great deal to lose. Before that, in England, it was all more of a theoretical problem, like politics or religion – it only became troublesome when he acted on it; a lot of people knew about it but as long as they didn't come out of their moral apathy and he upheld some sort of plausible deniability, there was no real danger.

Things are different now. There is nothing theoretical about what goes on between the two of them, the danger _is_ real. But after a while Thomas got used to it and, if he is being honest with himself, started taking their happiness for granted, which is something he'd never thought possible. And that was probably the moment he became careless. 

Of course it is all his own fault. Edward can't really be blamed, he is never aware if people can actually see them and if they're being conspicuous. Although he does still take unnecessary risks sometimes … But no, Thomas is the older one, he should be wiser, he has to take responsibility for this. And now he's painted himself into a corner he can't see a way out of. He'll have to stand up for it somehow.

Hours later, still wrapped up in a cloud of self-loathing, he drives home. A Hawaiian man is standing on the other side of the road, apparently observing their house, next to a motorcycle much like his. He might be a potential customer for Thomas' sideline business of fixing clocks, but he makes no attempts to approach, just stands there and looks at him. Thomas decides to ignore him and go inside. He doesn't only encounter Edward but also a twelve-year-old Hawaiian girl who lives on one of the back-country farms and frequently takes English lessons in their kitchen.

“Oh. Hello, Naia. What are you still doing here?” She doesn't usually stay so late.

“Good evening, Mr. Barrow … Mother can't come today, so my father is picking me up. I hope he finds the house” Her English has really come along in the past few months.

“Is he a tall, middle-aged man on a motorcycle? I think, he's waiting outside … I'll ask him in” Thomas goes back outside where the man is still waiting. He wonders for a moment how to address him properly, since he's never learned Naia's last name. “Excuse me, are you Naia's father?”

The man gives him an intense look, seemingly assessing every fragment of his personality at once. He seems to radiate calmness and balance. “Yes. She is here?”

“She is inside. Please, come with me” They walk along the path and climb the steps into the house. Naia has started packing up her books but is still involved in a conversation with Edward that Thomas can make no sense of.

“We will continue this next week, don't you think?”, Edward says with one of his slow smiles and they both get up. He is really very fond of Naia and has quite adopted her.

“I agree … This is my father, Kekoa” She continues to say something in Hawaiian that sounds like an introduction. Thomas is taken up with his own thoughts, so he just nods and tries to shift his face into a friendly expression when he hears his name. “We go home now. Thank you” She turns to Edward again.

Serenely, the two lean their foreheads together. “Aloha”, he says and it sounds completely natural. Thomas watches Mr. Kekoa, expecting him to find fault in a stranger getting so close to his daughter, but he looks completely relaxed.

“Aloha, Edward … Goodbye, Mr. Barrow”, the girl says and her father extends his greetings, too.

Thomas follows them to the door and when Mr. Kekoa has stepped out into the darkness, he turns around with another one of those intense looks. There seems to be a fire burning in the man's brown eyes, some spirit only natives to these isles could ever grasp. “Wisdom of my people: Forgive”, he says in that strong but pleasant accent and nods gravely, “Forgive yourself, you find _pono_”

“What does that mean?” Thomas looks around but Naia has already reached the road and can't help him understand now.

Mr. Kekoa just gives him a bright smile. “Good night”, he says and follows his daughter.

“Good night”, Thomas mumbles and goes back into the house, “That was rather strange”

“What did he say?”

“Told me to forgive myself, completely out of the blue, and something I didn't understand”

Edward laughs softly. “Yes, Naia said he could be like that, she always calls him a wise man. Though it sounds more like it's his job when she says it … She's been teaching me a bit of their culture and their language. It's so musical. Have you ever really heard Hawaiian being spoken?”

“Here and there. I thought it was forbidden to some extent”

“To teach it in schools is forbidden and I suppose the authorities don't like it in general, like everything they don't understand. But I think we should try and understand this whole culture, not suppress it. It is _their_ island, we're only visiting” Edward's enthusiasm for languages and foreign cultures has grown even bigger in the last years.

“I agree …”

“Is something the matter? You sound preoccupied” Of course he would notice that. Like he can read minds …

Thomas can't help but tell him the truth. “Well, yes, sort of. I don't know how or why but somehow, while I was talking to some of the boys at work, they suddenly went on about how I've never had a girlfriend while we've been here and they seemed to know … about us”

Edward loses colour and goes completely still. “What do you mean, they know? Are they going to tell the police?”

“Oh no. They were just drawing conclusions, they don't really _know _anything … So, I told them I had a girlfriend”

Edward takes a deep breath of relief. “Damage control, huh? Well, you'll easily find a woman to go out with you a few times to satisfy them”

“There is a little complication. I said the mythical girlfriend was Japanese”

“That quite reduces the pool of candidates … Do you know Saki? She works at one of the plantations, is near our age and I'm told she's quite beautiful. She's nice – doesn't speak a lot of English, though” Thomas has often made a little fun of his seemingly knowing every single person who lives in this town but right now it proves very helpful. Edward spent most of his life among a class of people who put incredible importance on _being acquainted _and knowing how everyone connects to everyone else like having a forest of family-trees in your head, so it comes quite naturally to him. On the other hand, it also means that everyone knows Edward and he can't go anywhere without meeting people who recognise him.

“This is so surreal; we're picking an alibi-girlfriend like we're talking about buying groceries”

“I know. I'd rather not have this conversation but what choice do we have?”

When did Edward turn into this level-headed realist? “Aren't you the man who said it was a sin to lie to a woman because of your sexuality …”

The mask of cold realism slips for a moment. “Oh please, Thomas, don't make it harder than it is. It already feels like surrendering to the pressure of society … Come to think of it, don't pick Saki, she's too nice and innocent. Try Eriko, who works at the grocer's, the one on Maunakea Street. She's a woman of the world, she won't break if you call it off after two or three dates”

“Alright, I will. I'll take her out somewhere near the hotel so people will see us … What are we going to do about you? They wanted to know if you had a special someone, but I said that was your own business and I wouldn't tell. It couldn't hurt to make up a feasible story for you, though” Thomas tries to not be jealous at the idea of his beloved boyfriend going out with a woman.

Edward is lost in thought for a moment, probably going through all the eligible young women he knows. “Do you remember back when you thought I had a thing with Hazel Raymond?”

“All too clearly …” Those hours of heartbreak are hard to forget.

“Well, you weren't the only person who thought so. Hazel said it was commonly believed among the hotel staff”

“But how is that going to help us now? Hazel is home in California, happily married, she can't come back and pretend to be your girlfriend” She might visit one day, but that's it.

“Exactly. So, we could revive the old rumour, say it was all one-sided and she broke my heart when she left … If you're okay with it, that is”

Thomas recalls the pain from back then, the anger at everyone. But he has long since been over it. Hazel remained his friend and they still exchange letters often. She is one of the few people here who actually know what is going on between him and Edward. “It's a perfectly sound idea. It won't even need a lot of work to make it believable. My penchant for lies is finally rubbing off on you”

“I'm not sure about that. Hopefully, I won't have to actively lie so often. That could go horribly wrong” Edward isn't only bad at it, he hates lying. It completely goes against his nature to lie about their very existence.

“If in doubt, just say nothing. Pretend you're shy … You weren't ever actually going to tell the truth if anyone asked you, were you?”

“No, that would be stupid. When I was younger, I might have done so, but never lightly. If I ever felt it needed to be said, I would have. I was ready to fight for the right to love whomever I wanted, but there was never a situation when fighting would have made any difference at all”

“Isn't that the truth”, Thomas sighs. It really is frustrating sometimes to see all the change in the world but not one single inch of movement about this particular cause. “And all of this because those boys suddenly had a flight of fancy. Sometimes, I wish I'd ruled by fear, so they wouldn't dare speak to me or even think of me like that”

“You don't mean that. I thought you were happy to be friends with everyone”

Which is true; especially since being nice to people ceased to be an effort, he can't go back to the way he was before. “I am. But, in a way, I'm still scared it will go wrong one day” And why can't anything ever be easy?

“It might. But you shouldn't let that keep you from being the gentle, kind man you really are. Remember, pushing people away only adds to your problems, it doesn't solve them”

They have talked about this often because Thomas still has certain problems with it, deeply rooted in his history. “I think I know that now, in my head. It's still hard sometimes to really translate it into real life … And, let's face it, living without fear is a pipe-dream, anyway”

“I agree. No-one lives completely without fear, there's always something. And this is our something, at least until the world changes drastically” They fall silent for a few minutes until Edward says: “Now, what shall we do about dinner? We could go to Mrs. Yang's, she always cooks for ten”

So they do and the evening is spent among people who either don't realise or don't care enough to pry around their private life. They come back home later and go to bed like everything is normal, but as soon as darkness and silence fills his senses, Thomas can't go on pretending that it is. He dozes off a few times but every time he hears the faintest noise, it startles him out of sleep, thinking it will be the police coming to take them away. At one in the morning, he finally gives in and slips out of Edward's embrace to sleep in the other room, which they always keep made up in case anyone ever looks inside their bedrooms. It's just another concession they have to make to society's stupid rules. Why can't he at least be as close as he wants to the man he loves in their own home?

~#~

Saturday and his date with Eriko comes faster than it should. Thomas feels he's made rather a fool of himself, asking her out – talking about the weather before mumbling that “if she might be prepared to accompany him on a photography excursion”, he'd be pleased. Of course, then he had to repeat himself in simpler words and by then, the whole shop was watching covertly. Still, she said yes. He hasn't had a restful night since then, still having nightmares about policemen coming to rip him out of his life without warning. Edward is starting to be infected with his restlessness, too.

“Have you got everything?”, he asks for the third time, “Have you got enough film to take a lot of photos?”

“I think so. And I've packed everything for the pick-nick … I still wish it was you who was coming with me”

“Next time”, Edward mumbles, only half convinced, “Most of it would be lost on me, anyway”

“I've never been on a date with a woman before”

“Neither have I, really. Not in that way; that just wasn't how my kind of people did things before the war”

“But what am I going to do?” Thomas knows he sounds like a fourteen-year-old girl, but that is appropriate seeing as he also feels like one right now.

“Just talk to her, say nice things”

“About what?” He can talk to people easily enough under normal circumstances but nothing about this is normal. And he doesn't want to be too nice to her, so as not to get her hopes up.

“I don't know. You've got an interest in photography in common, so that's something. You can drive from one scenic spot to the next”

“I suppose we shall” He checks himself in the mirror again, wishing he could ask Edward how he looked. But all he can get is Edward's hands trying to smooth his collar, digging his fingers into the fabric and pulling him in for a kiss, making him untidy yet again. “I really have to get going”

“Of course”, Edward lets go of him reluctantly, “Have fun”

“I'll try”, he whispers, stealing a last kiss.

Eriko is waiting for him in front of the hotel. She really is rather pretty with her black hair intricately done up and in her blue dress. Thomas makes sure that some of the hotel employees see them before they set off in the borrowed Model T. They spend some time driving around, stopping at waterfalls and cliff overviews and finally take a lunch-break on a ridge overlooking the valley with the big fish-pond and the sea. It is a fine day and the trade-winds blow gently; everything would be perfect if only Thomas could stop thinking. This was planned as a treat for Edward and himself and now he's here with solemn, quiet Eriko, having a hard time even smiling at her, trying to make her believe he's enjoying this. It is like sitting a never-ending exam.

During lunch, Eriko gets over some of her shyness, even trying to make the odd joke with her limited English, but Thomas still can't relax. If he weren't trying so hard to make her believe his lies and keep her at arm's length at the same time, he fancies they could get along well.

Once they've packed everything into the car again, they decide to venture up the red dusty path on foot a bit further. After a few yards, a figure emerges in the glimmering distance. As they draw nearer, Thomas can make out a girl, carrying a basket full of flowers under her arm and wearing one of those woven grass-hats. When she is only a few paces away, he realises that he knows her.

“Hello, Mr. Barrow”, she calls in that moment and waves at him.

“Naia? What are you doing here?”

“I live here. There is our farm” She vaguely points into the valley below.

“What a beautiful place”

Naia peeks around him and observes Eriko with one of her assessing looks. “Are you with a woman?”, she asks and scepticism is obvious on her face.

“Yes, this is Eriko Yamada, my … a friend” They take the few steps to where the Japanese lady is waiting. “Miss Yamada, have you met Naia? She is one of my cousin's students”

Eriko bows to her. “Good afternoon”, she says.

“Aloha”, Naia mumbles, her smile a bit less beaming than usual, “I don't want to hold you up and my mother waits for these flowers” After a few more words of goodbye from all parties, Naia starts off down the path, glancing backwards a couple of times, until she's out of sight.

Thomas doesn't really know what to make of it. A part of him is glad that they have been seen together but another part has a feeling that all of this is going to backfire rather badly. “Shall we drive somewhere else?”, he asks Eriko, who is looking at him strangely, like she sees him in a new light.

“Maybe to the beach”, she suggests.

He manoeuvres the car back down the dirt-road and roughly in the direction of Waikiki to show that it's time to go home. He's quite done enough for one day. All the while, Eriko asks a lot of questions and with every answer she gets, something in her manner seems to soften, although he can't make out why. When he finally parks the car off the road somewhere near Diamond Head and makes to get out, she gently places a hand on his arm to keep him where he is. Thomas freezes, not knowing what to anticipate next, completely at a loss about what to do or say.

Eriko looks straight into his face. “You love Edward, yes?”

Thomas doesn't say anything to that. He might later regret every word he says.

“And I love Tachiko Sakura. She works at Hochi newspaper. Best person I ever met” Her smile finally reaches her eyes for the first time.

He is utterly speechless. What are the chances of that? He goes out with a woman and she turns out to be just as homosexual as he is … “What?”, is all he can manage in a feeble voice.

“Sakura is my girlfriend”, Eriko repeats with emphasis.

Thomas is so relieved he can only laugh and soon they both laugh, unable to stop. “I really like you”, he says at last.

"And I like you. When I need alibi, I come to my friend Thomas and we go take photos”

“Oh, yes, let's” He takes her hands enthusiastically. “It's so much fun”

They get out of the car and proceed to take photos at the beach, even posing in front of each other's cameras, until they attract too much attention. It is time to go home then and Thomas drives them back to Waikiki where he picked her up a few hours earlier.

Before Eriko leaves, there is one question still to be answered. “How did you know about Edward and me?”

“With the girl, you speak about your _cousin_ and you are suddenly all happy. When I ask question, you say his name, you smile”

“Am I that obvious?”

“Yes”, she nods vigorously, then giggles, “Is very cute … Give hello to Edward. I see you soon” Unexpectedly, she kisses his cheek and is out the door before he can say another word.

Still in a daze, Thomas drives to Mānoa and returns the car to the neighbours. Edward is waiting for him at home in the kitchen, trying to be cool and casual but failing completely. He's probably been fidgety all day, expecting the worst.

“You're back. How was it?”

“I think we're in for the long haul”, Thomas says with a laugh. Edward just gives him an incredulous, bewildered look. “Turns out she has a girlfriend”

“What? No, really? … You were in the right place at the right time, then” The sheer relief on Edward's face …

“Quite a new sensation for me. And whenever either of us needs an alibi, we'll go out together”

“That's good news” It seems to sink in slowly, what exactly this means.

“It's more than that. Darling, it means we're safe, or at least more safe than we've ever been” He pulls Edward into an embrace, whirls him around in a few spontaneous dance-steps and kisses him so eagerly, it almost sweeps them both off their feet. “And, as a bonus, I don't even have to lie to her”

Edward laughs softly and leans their foreheads together like the Hawaiians do. “Careful, my love. Any more good news and our hearts might explode”

It is good news – the best, really. And once Thomas has channelled his exuberant joy into something more calm, he's sure he'll sleep extremely well tonight.

~#~

A few days later, when he comes home he sees Naia leave their house from afar. When he comes in, he finds Edward lost in thought.

“Naia just asked me if I knew you were out with a woman the other day”, he says after they've said hello.

“It was bound to happen. What did you say?”

“I said I did know. It only seemed to puzzle her more, because she is aware of our relationship, as you probably have guessed”

“Children are so good at seeing these things …” Thomas has noticed this many times before, not just here. And he also noticed that children usually don't care much about society's ideas of wrong and right.

“Apparently, in her culture, in ancient times, it used to be quite normal for a man to have both a male and a female lover at the same time but she knows this is not the case with us white people”, Edward explains, “I had a hard time making it clear to her what was going on and why she had to keep the part about you and me a secret”

“As long as she will” Thomas doesn't have any real concerns; Naia seems wise beyond her years about these things.

“Oh, yes, she'd never do anything that could hurt us. She says we're part of her _'ohana _now, which is their word for the extended family. In fact, she's invited us to celebrate this new holiday on May 1st with the people over in the valley where she lives” Edward is full of his adorable enthusiasm about learning new things again.

“That's next Wednesday, isn't it? Sounds interesting, like we'll get to know more about their culture”

“We will. And Naia says we won't have to be as careful there. It doesn't mean we can kiss in public, but we won't have to be afraid all the time”

That is a very comforting thought. “Which is more than we ever could have wished for …”

~#~

May Day afternoon arrives and they take the neighbours' car again to drive to the Wailupe area. The site of the festivities is easy to find because it is relatively crowded with people. You never get so many people in one spot outside of the inner city of Honolulu. They're all dressed in brightly-coloured clothes that contrast with their brown skin beautifully and adorned with those flower garlands. There doesn't seem to be any kind of order to this party, people keep arriving and leaving as they please, some are eating while others are not and they're all chatting wildly in Hawaiian and English. Thomas and Edward feel like strangers for about five minutes, then they start talking to people as best they can and eventually find themselves in the middle of the crowd like they've always been there.

Some sort of stage is marked off by torches in one corner of the plain. At one point, Naia and some other girls are dancing the hula to the sound of drums, wearing yellow dresses, bracelets of leaves around their ankles and wrists, along with flower garlands on their heads and necks. It strikes Thomas as foreign to watch those young girls dance in public like that, scantily-clad by European standards and swinging their hips. No-one else seems to think so and no-one looks at them with any improper thoughts obvious in their face.

When the dance is finished, Naia comes over and starts introducing them to one relative after the next. They spend some time chatting with her father Kekoa, who suddenly seems to have an idea and starts talking to her enthusiastically.

“He wants to bless you together, so you will have luck and happiness always”, Naia explains.

“Thank you, that's very kind”, Edward says and they step forward in between the torches. The setting sun is turning everything into fire and pouring an ethereal light over them.

Kekoa begins chanting and Thomas feels like it reverberates in his bones. He doesn't understand a single word but he knows that they contain a message of love and optimism and they elicit a calmness he has rarely known in his life. At some point, Naia brings two _leis_ made of green leaves and plumeria and whispers to them to give them to each other like a gift, which they do. Her father then takes another green _lei_ and wraps it around Thomas and Edward's joint hands. Something shifts in the overall mood, it goes from expectant reverence to joyful serenity and other people who know the words join in with the chants. A small part of Thomas would like to know what is actually happening, but the main part, his heart, accepts that it is something beautiful and he should indulge in it; to be in this moment, in this place, with the man he loves is the greatest gift the universe has ever bestowed upon him. And in a surge of clarity, he understands what _pono_ means and that he has indeed found it.

A while later, after a lot more dancing and chanting and a deliciously exotic dinner in the torchlight, Thomas and Edward leave their new Hawaiian friends behind and set out for home, never letting go of each other's hand until they reach the car. The drive is spent in silence, both lost in their own thoughts, until they reach their house.

They stand in the kitchen like they're on the brink of another world and not sure if they should take the next step. Eventually, Thomas breaks the silence. “Did we just get married? Or did I get that wrong?”

Edward thinks about it a minute longer. “I suppose that's open for interpretation … Do you want to be?”

Thomas finds himself so overwhelmed for the moment, he has to try and make a joke. “Isn't that usually something you ask beforehand?”

“What about us is usual? … But, do you?” A hint of apprehension rings through the words.

It's not something Thomas has ever given any serious thought, simply because it is impossible, and now that he thinks about it, there's no question. “Yes, absolutely. What about you?”

“I'd like nothing more … That settles it. Congratulations, my darling, we're married. In spirit, at least” Edward reaches out for him and softly caresses his face while Thomas lets his hands wander up and down Edward's back. Their lips meet, slowly, like they have all the time in the world and never have to do anything else again.

“I love you so much”, Thomas whispers and he can feel Edward's smile under his lips.

“I love you, too. And I've never been as happy as I am now”

Something is different than before, Thomas realises. The dangers are still there, the past will definitely be stirred up again at some point and being generally depressed doesn't go away like a common cold, so it's not perfect. But right now, he can just take everything as it is, see the present without fear and accept the calm, bright feeling in his heart. Nothing and no-one is going to take these moments away from him. And who needs perfect, anyway?


End file.
